A Different Perception on Change

A Different Perception on Change

gold fish changing ponds

Ever wondered why we resist change so much?  The most common misconception towards change is the idea that once we change we lose a part of ourselves.  This isn’t really the case.  Perhaps its a result of this dualistic mindset that you are either or that is making people interpret change as such.  In reality, its more like an expansion of one’s identity.

People are not Black or White

We tend to like to oversimplify and think we are either this or that, but in most cases we are combinations of both sides.  Change is similar, it isn’t just about being one way or another but learning new behaviors that can come in handy in different circumstances.   For example, say if you only have one piece of clothing in your closet, it means no matter how you are feeling, you only have one option to express yourself from.  But if you have multiple pieces of clothing, then you can wear black on a gloomy day, red on a happy day, and so on.  The larger the repertoire to use, the more closer you can get to when it comes to the best fit.

Why is Change scary?

If change is meant to help us, why are we so often dead set against it.  Its simply because change requires us to step outside of comfort zone temporarily.  We are creatures of habit, so when venturing into he unknown, fears and insecurities creeps up like monsters in the closets.  Between the choices of staying within known discomfort vs imagined fears, the imagination is very good at hitting your worst fears.

Another reason why change is unsettling for people because it usually needs for people to  self reflect which is against other’s out.  This also usually means some sort of shedding of the ego which people’s ego really don’t like.  The ego tries to protect itself and its identity by preventing change or making you think that it is bad and not part of your identity.  That simply isn’t true, we think identity is static but instead it is fluid and ever changing.  If you let go of the static view of the self, then changing isn’t so scary anymore.  Sometimes something’s got to give in order for change and growth to occur.

Why Bother with Change

Change is not all bad news.    It enables us to continue to grow past ourselves, and be better equipped to deal with different situations and people.  It allows us to become more efficient in our lives and everything we do.  If change is simply an expansion of your existing self, then any new things we learn is a change.   Change is the only thing that is constant.

Proactive and Reactive Change

For any TYPE A personalities out there, you’re most likely proactively changing particularly in your goals and careers.  It means you actively seek to improve yourself before it becomes a necessity for you to address.  Most people in general when it comes to careers and work, they are motivated by money, status, power, stability and will put into the effort of changing in order to reach the next level.

However, if you examine people’s personal lives, majority tend to be very reactive in their change process.  The reason is usually because its much more harder to measure as see the results of proactive change in personal and emotional spectrum.  This type of change usually are rewarding to the person but often receives little value from society.  As a result its is neglected and discounted for its true value.

Why is Personal and Emotional Growth Important?

Take a look at history and you’ll notice man seems to be repeating the same mistakes.  Without personal growth, we fall back into the same patterns of behavior that causes problems in the first place.  For example, a woman that has insecurities and not confident about her own value will repeatedly tr to seek security and validation from her partner.  No matter how many relationship she goes into, unless she addresses and changes her behavior or value of herself, any  relationship she is in will likely have the same problem pop up.   Look at any patterns of behavior and you will see the “pain point”  has a way of showing up in different circumstances, when you change and grow, you learn to work with the circumstances so the “pain points” are no longer issues or concerns and naturally there is no problem anymore.

Change is Natural and Beneficial

No matter if its your skills for work, hobbies, or personal and emotional spectrum, embracing the changes and learning to surrender so you can grow will take you a lot further than actively fighting that will likely happen anyways. (given enough time)  Learn to proactively change in your personal and emotional lives as it will bring you greater happiness ad satisfaction in you and people around you.

Living life in the pursuit of Love, passion & creativity. Legally blind since the age of 10 and diagnosed with narcolepsy & PCOS, I'm sharing what I've learned in my journey of overcoming adversities and what life has taught me along te way.

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